On the journey that is a female led relationship, The Ten can provide a solid, basic framework for laying out the field that is both structured and decisive.
Chapter 9 – Conclusions
“At a minimum, you now have a different way of looking at Dominance and submission. The images associated with S&M are certainly no longer the only ones you imagine when thinking about D/s. You should be more comfortable with the words ‘Dominant’ and ‘submissive'; no longer seeing them as game-playing roles, but now viewing them as two sides of an agreement. A 24/7/356 service-oriented D/s relationship may now feel very practical and very much in reach.”
The eZine, ‘Predominant’. (2012), by Elise Sutton, expert on all things FemDom, explores the lifestyle in day-to-day practice. The interviews are filled with real-world examples of making the lifestyle work in a relationship.
“I keep it as simple as possible and it becomes habit and second nature [ed: You can use The Ten to make it a habit] for me. First, once a week, preferably on Friday night, I discipline my husband with an OTK (over the knee) spanking. I might dress up in a leather outfit but more times than not I’ll keep it simple and wear lingerie or something that makes me feel dominant or sexy.
I will spank him as I grade his weekly performance. Did he do all of his chores? Did he put lots of thought and creativity in preparing my dinners? Was his attitude humble and obedient toward me? I also go over with him what I expect out of him in the week to come. Our weekly discipline session will often lead to sex. If I get excited, I will have him worship my body and orally pleasure me.
Secondly, my husband gets home before I do each day so before I leave for work, I lay out a pair of panties on my bed. When he gets home, he knows he is to put them on and get to his chores, which includes preparing my dinner. My hubby is always pantied around the house.
Thirdly, my hubby is in chastity all of the time. We did the CB2000 but have evolved. He now wears a Carrara belt. It is big and bulky and expensive but it is the best we found at making sure he is safe and secure and 100% unable to touch himself in any way.
Finally, I use the strap-on, usually on our discipline night, every other week. So when you boil it down, we usually only have a D&S session once a week and rarely more than that. Every Friday night (or Saturday if we have plans on Friday) I discipline him and at the same time I grade his weekly performance and depending on the week and my mood, I will take him with the strap-on.
These nights almost always lead to sex and sex is about the woman’s pleasure so I get pleasured and most times he stays denied. The other six nights we function in our D&S roles but I don’t have to dominate him because he is focused, so we can interact just like any other couple and we have the intellectual companionship and the friendship to make for a healthy marriage. It takes a little work but not as much as you’d think as long as I stay committed to that weekly discipline session.”