There are four pillars to a successful Femdom marriage and relationship:
Rigorously sticking to a schedule of weekly discipline session for a submissive husband is very important. Depending on her temperament at the time, it might involve all the things that stoke the male dominatrix fantasy. But most importantly are the fundamentals. At a scheduled time each week, the woman and her submissive man know that she will have him over her lap, over the back of a chair, or over the edge of the bed for an extended session with the paddle or other tools she selects. This sessions may include or be preceded by a scolding about his behavior of late, and a recounting of what has pleased her and what has left her wondering exactly how lazy he thought she should allow him to become. This is the session that will fix that laziness. It provides the opportunity for her to vent until she is vented – like a discharge of built-up electrical power. When the frustration and irritation is gone the spanking ends, and not before.
Important for her to remember and to practice:
No holding back
Coming off a week of obedience, he will be reminded of their respective roles. Coming off a week of disobedience, he should expect not to be able to sit down without discomfort for the next week, at minimum, having been whipped thoroughly and – importantly – without either remorse or sympathy. As far as being ‘thorough’, Auntie Kay, the creator of the now-extinct Disciplinary Wives Club suggested that the wife administer the whipping with all her energy, knowing that yes, it hurts him. It is SUPPOSED to hurt…badly. And yes, it leaves marks, as it is supposed to. Her whipping him and the discomfort he feels for days afterwards serve as a reminder of who is in charge, and also a warning.
Like watering a plant, this weekly spanking actually heightens the couple’s intimacy, and keeps him in tune with his role in the FemDom relationship.
There may be some sharing of household duties – each couple is unique. But in a working FemDom marriage, he should easily and soon adopt the role of taking on most of the chores. There simply can be no excuse for him not being a domesticated, obedient submissive husband. In addition to discipline, and clearly laying out his role and duties, an excellent method to reinforce his domestication is his own panties. The Ten is a suggested framework for setting all this up. During that multi-week training program, one of the early steps should be for her to instruct him to wash and fold all of his man underwear, and deliver them, packaged up and sealed, to her as he kneels at her feet. Then they should go shopping for panties – for him. This isn’t feminization or even cross-dressing. It’s about his going about the day knowing he’s wearing panties; it’s about his coming home and knowing he is to be quickly undressed and set about those duties and chores in his pretty panties. It’s about submission; and as a compliant male, he will likely happily obey. It’s about Her getting deep inside his head and staying there.
Denial and orgasm control is addressed on this blog, and there is ample evidence to backup the anecdotal evidence: men with orgasms are lazy men, when it comes to relationships with powerful women. Satiation and submission, orgasm and obedience – these are oxymorons. Paddling and panties are great training tools, but denial keeps him in the frame of mind to let them do their work. His attention and all that sexual energy are focused on pleasing his wife – in every way. It also keeps him keenly aware of the fact that his release is completely up to her, as far as whether, when or how it will be allowed. He may not be conscious of it, but he will become almost addicted to living under the control of his wife’s sexual power and control. And, as with the paddle, his will come to see that behavior, service and obedience will have a direct effect on his orgasm.
It’s frivolous to think a man can be trusted to some ‘honor system’. It also removes a significant source of ‘juice’ that can pay benefits many times over in intimacy and fun. Denial and control are best accomplished with a chastity device. The CB2000, 3000 or 6000 are a good start.
Physical domination using the paddle or cane might be considered old fashioned – but it’s useful and effective. It has an exterior component that definitely weaves into his thinking.
But a deeper, more powerful form of sexual domination using a life-like penis and strap-on harness gets a woman deep inside a submissive husband’s mind and head. Naked, kneeling, with his bottom covered rising up in welts and on fire, what can he experience but submission at beholding his woman’s large strap-on dick before his eyes. He knows what’s coming (and it’s not him!) And he knows – without a shred of doubt – from repetition and frequent application, who is the boss.
Building intimacy, establishing power and control, the paddle and panties and the penis should go together.
Putting it together
Keeping it simple: Spanking is once a week – unless he deserves something additional. He can count on that. How severe the spanking is – that’s mostly up to him. He is always to wear his panties. He is always to wear his chastity device, removing it only as his woman allows. And he is always subject to being taken by his wife and her symbol of his submission: her strap-on phallus.
Most of the time, she is going to have as many orgasms as she likes – he will only experience it as she allows.
These guidelines lead to increased intimacy, allow for open communication and don’t hinder any intellectual or companionship aspects of the marriage. They are both in perfect sync. They are both aware and comfortable in their roles. They are both very happy.
So it starts with the rigor of the weekly spanking: It’s worth it.